Is anyone else getting this?

I was sitting in Theory this week and myself and another cohort member were talking about how we seemed to be completely lost. We're reading Karl Marx so it's some pretty historically and philosophically deep stuff. I'm convinced that it's not so much the topic that's hard to follow, but the thought process of the presenters (both the professor and the writer). As we were conversing about this the professor walked in and asked if we were confused. Upon admitting that we were he reassured us by saying, "if you aren't confused you aren't learning."

This certainly made me feel better about what I was viewing as a self-deficiency. I think that's a very core truth that until someone says it to you, you don't really realize the truth in it. So regardless of the fact that half the time I'm sitting in graduate school lectures I find myself asking if I really belong here, this probably is both perfectly normal and positive. I can now take comfort in the face that I don't understand half of what is said. And, those around me either get it, or they do an insanely good job of pretending they do. But, somehow I think everyone else is in the same boat and that we just manage our expressions differently (there's a sociological study for me to do).

Classes are going good. There is a lot of reading. The content has remained interesting so far, which motivates me to keep going. I talked with a second year this morning and he told me, "just think...after next week the quarter is 1/3 of the way over." This both excited me and stressed out a little. All the second-years reassure me that the first year is the hardest, and of the first year the first quarter is the hardest. So, I'm 1/5 of the way through the hardest quarter of my career!

My GTF classes are great also. I certainly have a favorite section, they're amazing. The other group is amazing also, but a little more standoffish. I find myself questioning the differences I use in the teaching methods between the two classes and trying to decide how much of my teaching differences influence their behavior and/or response...probably a large portion of it. Trying to work on that.

Anyhow, sitting in office hours and still no one has come to visit. Although, I'm not surprised. It's Thursday afternoon and a lot of students probably are done with classes for the week. Probably not the best timing on my part. Hope everyone has a great weekend. Cheers to one more week down!

My Promise to the Working Class

Let this be a promise, put in writing, that I will not abandon my people for the sake of my own success. I will not buy into these ideas of higher education being about research, individual successes, and how much I can cram into my curriculum Vitae. Instead, I promise to use my education to better the lives of others. To reach out to those who are most like me, living working-class lives, experiencing discrimination in multiple forms, and teach them to better understand their predicament, how to get out of it (if they so desire), and how to help others.

I do not aspire to be a published, well-known professor at a well-known research institution. I do not seek to only further my own research interests, and the research interests of other detached, highly educated, impersonal scholars. Instead, I want my research to speak to people, everyday people. I want my research to tell a story that ALL can understand, not only those with status initials at the end of their name.

Let me remember, at the end of this ordeal, where I come from and where it is I desire to go at this very moment. Let me remember that sociology is about helping those in need, creating social change for the better, and that it is not about the fattening of my personal pocketbook.